How To Feel Like A ‘Leader’
Welcome. Let’s connect about how to empower your leadership skills while squashing a few myths on the subject. Simply — so you can take the lead and feel good about it.
Well, let’s we start with a new sense of what LEADERSHIP really means.. While a concrete, unified definition of the term ‘leadership’ does not exist, scholar-practitioners in the field of leadership like myself prefer to avoid the term ‘leader’. In reality the practice of leadership is much more than a position of authority or title. Instead, leadership focuses on HOW a person takes up their responsibility, power, and meets expectations of others in the pursuit of achieving a common goal. Leadership training, in support of this practice, helps people confidently take up their voice and presence in order to have the greatest impact with the valuable time they have.
As a professional, an aspiring one, or anyone with a pulse.. you’ve surely experienced discouragement that makes it more difficult for you to practice your best leadership. The figure heads of authority we’ve encountered in the form of parents, teachers, bosses, or customers leave lasting impressions (positive and negative) on how we take up our own power, as well as how we manage difficult situations..
Leadership is about taking that power back as you actualize your own vision, building better for yourself and your community. It is all hands on deck if we’re going to leave this lovely place better than how we’ve found it. The creators, innovators, visionaries, drivers, early risers and late nighters.. anyone driven to be of service is especially susceptible to developing their leadership practice. Which is good, because we need you. So, let me help ya however I can along the way, because leadership is going to suck sometimes.
Why does leadership suck..?
When your back is against the wall or you’re taking the leap of faith.. When you have the ‘blinders’ on and are fighting to bring your vision to reality.. You are stuck, conflicted, alone, angry, activated, excited.. THAT, my friends, is exactly when REAL leadership comes into play.
Leadership means consciously determining, then taking action to achieve the BEST possible outcomes. Sometimes, this means failing, then going back and figuring out another option. Sometimes, it means reflecting on what you’re missing.. maybe a blind spot or lack of perspective. Sometimes, it means navigating risky, frightening, or complex situations for the greater good.. This personal experience of creating something out of nothing requires a heightened level of critical thinking and mindfulness that empowers you to mobilize yourself and others through even the most complex of circumstances. It brings out the best in us so we can achieve the impossible.
How do you even find the motivation to act or feel like a ‘leader’ when the going gets tough..?
In terms of ‘feeling like a leader’, at State of Mind we teach clients the importance of identifying and developing what is referred to as your Leadership Presence - better understood by three manageable skills making up your overall presence.. (O’Neil, 2015).
Authenticity: The alignment between internal values and external expressions.
Influence: The ability to impact the beliefs or behaviors of others.
Self-Efficacy: The belief in your own leadership capabilities.
Come home to an internal power and cognition that ONLY YOU retain. Use your unique voice, perspective, and leadership presence to create better.
Want to get out of your own way?
Want the opinion of others to have less of an impact on you?
Start by reflecting on and identifying ways to improve these three skills. When you’re taking up full leadership presence, there is no one that can stop you.. not even you. You become the role model you never had. You bring yourself forward as a source of strength and support tied to something bigger. You create a better reality simply by being in tune with your internal world and by being more attentive to your purpose. Focus first on reflection, thinking about what skill needs the greatest development.. Then take small, sustainable steps to improve upon that skill for the coming weeks, returning to reflection at least once a month to think about your progress and set new objectives!
To wrap up —
If you want to start feeling more like a ‘leader’.. focus on how you can operate more authentically, influentially, and with more belief in yourself. Remember, nothing happens overnight.. so please, be compassionate as you practice and lean on support to help you along the way because sometimes.. leadership just sucks. You can connect with me below should you have any questions, a-ha moments, or if you want to learn more about how consulting can support your leadership development.
With love, V.
TLDR: Hey friend, Leadership Presence is key for feeling fulfilled and in charge of your life. Want to feel and act more in alignment with your own leadership?
Act with authenticity, standing by your values.
Inspire with influence, because there is no leadership without followership.
Self-empower that self-efficacy.. believe in your abilities and continue to LEARN!
About the author.
Victoria Kendall is a Leadership consultant, coach, and speaker based in California.
Her personal mission is to make leadership education more accessible.
Victoria enjoys large bodies of water (seen here), gathering around good food, live music, and talking about Ted Lasso.
